- Started work again.
- Had a good life talk / catch up with miss "you gotta do what you gotta do".
- Attended CST training for the first time (today was a let down even though I played well).
- Got a little bit of work done after badminton.
Thought of the day:
This isn't really thoughts that I've had today, it's more of a recollection and I guess a post to remember how awesome this weekend was.
For those who don't know, I usually start my blog by writing the body and then the title. The reason for this is because it's usually hard for me to know what I want to convey in the post without having written it.
In this particular case though, I did it the other way around.
I purposely chose the word blissful.
If you search up "blissful definition" on Google, the second definition reads "providing perfect happiness or great joy" and that's exactly what this weekend was.
There's literally nothing, NOTHING that I would have changed about this weekend hence "perfect".
Okay, first of all, it's not even a "weekend" it was 4 days to be exact. From Thursday to Sunday. Anyway, small detail, important, but not really.
Even the fact that I missed the internet guy and had to ask my neighbour for wifi. I even feel like that was cool. Like, now we have each other's phone number and we're neighbour buddies or something.
Bref, if you have to remember one thing from the past 4 paragraphs is that I wouldn't change a thing.
Not the fact that we stayed up at almost 4am every day (or was it even more? I can't remember).
Not the fact that we were literally in an almost empty apartment with a bunch of boxes and shit on the floor.
Not the fact that my bedroom didn't have any blinds and we had to create a makeshift curtain with garbage bags and a cardboard box.
I believe that every single detail of this past weekend, good or bad, had its role to play.
Maybe if everything was "perfect", we wouldn't have laughed as much.
Maybe if I had internet, we would have used cheap entertainment instead of having deep and fun conversations.
Maybe if I had slept more, I would have constantly overthought everything going on.
I don't know. I literally don't know and don't want to know.
For me, this extended weekend was perfect. I enjoyed every second of the company I had. The laughs, the nervousness, the presence, the affection (physical and mental)... all good.
If I had to describe the way I felt in 2 words it would be safe & free.
I honestly can't even remember the last time I felt this way.
For those 4 days, I felt like I could simply be me. I could simply live. The future did not exist and the past was to be forgotten.
I wasn't the past me and I wasn't trying to be the future me. I was simply me. The Nijahusa in that moment and that's all that mattered. (I hope you were also able to feel this way, but I have a feeling that you did).
Like all I really did for 4 days is be in the presence of great company and play badminton. Two things that brought me the utmost joy.
I didn't care that it wasn't amounting to anything. Living moments like these is the goal. Everyone who works hard, puts in the hours, constantly stresses over their lives (aka "normal" me); they all do this in order to live what I lived this weekend. And it didn't cost me a dime (okay, well, TECHNICALLY, it did, but you know, not super expensive so doesn't count).
Now that we're Monday, it was back to reality for me.
Work started again and so did my thoughts about my future (in some capacity).
I don't know what will happen in the future, I mean, I hope that everything goes well and that I'll be able to have more blissful moments, but we never know.
I think overthinking it will just ruin it so I won't.
I'll let the guy up there or the universe or whatever guide me. Clutch timing.
I keep saying I don't know throughout the whole post because I really don't. But I do know one thing.
No one can ever take this blissful weekend away from me and I am forever grateful to have been able to live this experience in its entirety.
Thank you badminton, thank you badminton friends and, of course, this wouldn't have been possible without you: Thank you miss JB xx