- Regular Sunday chores.
- Got inspired to write the thought of the day.
- Started sorting my shit to move out.
- Ate at a fancy restaurant with the mcgill crew.
- Bonded over board games at Randolph.
- Played a few Fall Guys games with Ms JB & Mr WHAAAT.
Thought of the day:
Mr PDS and I have this saying "etre un faible".
The direct translation is "stop being weak", but I don't think it translates well.
We often use it in a painfully comical way.
We're not actually dissing each other, we're just teasing about making weak moves.
And I realized that "je suis un faible" when in Montreal.
As soon as we were on the plane going back home, the gear in my head started turning and I started worrying about the future again.
Even this morning, as soon as I started my day, I was already thinking about "what's my next move" and "what should I do after SSENSE?"
As per the usual, I was spiraling into a negative mindset and was about to get lost in all my thoughts when I caught myself. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I FUCKING CAUGHT MYSELF SLIPPING AND WAS ABLE TO STOP MYSELF.
I was like "wowowow, what the fuck are you thinking about Nich?" and then proceeded to mentally debate with myself until I was back to my usual high-energy, positive, optimist self.
I've recently realized that a lot of my problems or dilemmas come from overthinking and trying to overprepare for the future.
Whenever I'm excited about something, I always try to plan out of my current decision might play out in the future and, most often than not, there are always some negative shit that pops up and stops me in my tracks.
I think the reason why I do this is to have more certainty. "If I take this decision now, will it affect my future in a positive or negative way?" / "Looking back on this decision in the future, will I think it was a good or bad one?"
The reality of life though, is that you can never ever ever predict the future. What seemed to be an awesome and no-brainer choice now, might turn out to be terrible later on or vice-versa. The best we can all do is take action with the information we currently have and live with it.
Besides, something else I realized is that most decisions are always reversible or at least course-correctable in the future. I'm always afraid of making a decision and then realizing later on that I don't like my choice. Well, all I really have to do is take another direction when I notice that I'm unhappy.
Classic example is switching careers. I've always been interested in product, but never really made the switch because I kept thinking of what would happen if later down the line, in 4-5 years, I don't enjoy the work anymore. And it sounds so stupidly stupid when I write about it now. But all I have to do is switch careers again and that's it.
I probably don't like the uncertainty of never finding a career that I love, which is why I try to constantly think my way through finding the ABSOLUTE BEST career for me (aka my calling). And we all know that shit doesn't work.
Anyway, here's a break down of what I told myself:
Nich, fuck the future.
Whatever makes you excited right now, choose to actively pursue it.
Because there are such things as positive life changing decisions, but no negative life changing decisions (okay, just like, don't do any crimes and shit like that).
If things don't work out and you're unhappy, then simply take action to make yourself happy again.
You keep telling yourself this, but the best things in your life right now, are not things you thought about. You were curious or excited about something, you decided to follow your gut, took action and the outcome turned out amazing.
"Etre un faible" and constantly worrying about making the wrong decisions benefits no one. It doesn't benefit the world and it certainly doesn't benefit you.
So stay in tuned with yourself, keep your eyes and heart open to what makes your spirit come alive, pursue that and don't think about what might happen in the future.
I'll leave you with the poem recited in one of your favorite movie scenes.
Our Deepest Fear (by Marianne Williamson) Coach Carter version:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were all meant to shine as children do.
It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.