Being comfortable vs going beyond my fears (#064)

Should we stay comfortable? Or should we push ourselves to greater heights even if the rewards aren't always clear.

Day events:

  • Woke up late (I want to fix this, but it's hard when I sleep late like now - 2:30am probably).
  • Went to the bank to deal with some tax things regarding DRIVS (I still haven't filed my taxes for this yet, I really just want to forget about this project haha - I regret incorporating).
  • Had a nice and long open conversation with JB regarding the benefits of our situation (I always put this here and it's repetitive af, but it's honestly always one of the highlights of my day LOL).
  • Researched about cars (It sounds nerdy, but I really love researching things just for the heck of it and learning about various subjects. Never too deeply though, just like "huh, good to know" information).
  • Long overdue stretching session.

Thought of the day:

Being comfortable vs learning a new skill / evolving as a human being BUT for things that aren't really significant?

Let me give you some context.

As people may or may not know, I recently moved out of my parent's place (well, technically my mom, well technically not HER place, anyways) into an apartment with my brother, big Al.

I felt like it was the right time for me to start being a bit more independent and I had a sweet deal with big Al.

What was the deal you ask?

6 months I live with him and 6 months I live alone, in a 4 1/2 with half the rent covered throughout the whole year !

Isn't that sweet?

Why in the world would he do that? Well, let's just say he's in a very dedicated relationship with his girlfriend who currently resides in Boston and he can only be out of Canada 6 months / year unless he wants to lose a lot of his Canadian Citizenship rights such as healthcare and... actually, I have no idea, I just know that he probably doesn't want to find out haha.

With that being said, let me get to the meat of the dilemma.

As part of the initial deal, my brother's car was involved. Because his girlfriend recently bought a new car (and he knew about this), he told me that he'll probably leave the car with me during the 6 months that he's in Boston.

That sounded perfect to me especially knowing that the 6 months he'll be gone will be from January ish to June ish. The winter period basically.

And I don't know about you, but I sure find a car to be useful as heck during winter time !

Additionally, we're even paying for indoor parking so that's great ! I don't even have to worry about moving the car when they're removing the snow.

All was well in life until...

2 weeks ago, big Al decided to GO BACK ON HIS WORDS.

Okay okay, to be fair, the car was never REALLY part of the deal, it was more of a "this is most likely what will happen", but I WAS 95% SURE THAT THIS WAS A SEALED DEAL, but apparently not.

Big Al's logic was that because he will have volleyball tournaments in Montreal every now and then, it made sense for him to bring the car with him to Boston so that when he has a tournament, he doesn't have to drive his girlfriend's new car (thus leaving her carless).

I mean, it makes sense.

Anyway, I moved on pretty quickly from this because it meant that I finally have a reason to buy my own used car.

I have no idea why, but ever since I learned how to drive properly at around 21 or something, I always wanted to have my own car.

And it's not what you think.

I'm not talking about a Lambo or a Ferrari or a Porsche or a modified car or anything that most "car guys" want.

I'm not even talking about a luxury car or even a brand new one.

As a matter of fact, I'm talking about the complete opposite.

I literally always dreamed of owning a 4000$ junk car !

Like a 20 year old Honda civic or something (turns out that old Honda's and Toyota's are fucking expensive and probably aren't even in my 4000$ budget ahahah).

I REALLY do not know why the fuck I've always wanted this, but I don't give a fuck, I find it funny, unique and I take pride in it hahaha.

Okay and now here's where the dilemma comes in.

At around the same time that my dream of owning a junk car surfaced in me, there's another car related skill that I've always wanted to learn.

And that is how to drive stick (manual) !

Being a logical person and all, I told myself that maybe now's the time to learn how to drive stick. It makes total sense. I can combine my dream of owning a junk car aka one that I don't care if it gets scratched or whatever and at the same time, I can learn how to drive manual.

But then, I got a bit scared.

I've become a pretty good driver with automatic cars and with that comes a lot of perks such as being able to text at the same time (don't tell the police), changing music on Spotify, entering addresses on Google Maps, holding hands, EATING, etc.

While I do all that, I'm always confident that if something were to happen on the road, I'd have enough reflexes to make the appropriate manoeuvre (well, hopefully, I hope I never get the chance to find out).

However, when it comes to manual cars, I mean I'm SURE most people are able to do everything I listed above after enough time, but I started asking myself... is it really worth it?

Like why not be comfortable and just buy a 4000$ automatic car so that I can continue doing everything I've been doing, without any stress.

Is having a manual car really THAT important? I mean, if it's simply learning how to drive manual, I can always ask a friend to teach me for 5 weekends or something and I'll be able to get by in case of an emergency.

That's what one side of me is saying.

The other side is telling me that because I'm scared and have doubts about it, I should do it. Of course, it doesn't really change anything to my life. Sure, I'll be able to learn a new skill, but that isn't even the most important thing about doing it.

It'll build my confidence, teach me that sometimes what I think in my head is worse than reality and, most importantly, I get to practice the "muscle" in my brain that wants something, is scared of the consequences and still goes for it.

I believe that everything "worth" pursuing will always have some elements that'll scare me and the more I practice pushing beyond that fear, the more I'll get used to it and that's how I'll truly be able to build the life I want.

Okay, I kinda ended on a really high note of hope and perseverance, but I'll still take time to think about whether or not I want to purchase a manual or automatic car hahahah. This article doesn't me that I have chosen a manual car YET. But knowing me, I most likely will.

PEACE.

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