- Did administrative stuff at work today.
- Spent a lot of time thinking about Act II of my life (more on that in the thought of the day).
- Got a haircuttt.
- Badminton training session (today's session really mindfucked me, I questioned my whole badminton career cuz I got wrecked).
Thought of the day:
I realized that I started this blog to write about my thoughts.
Hence the word of this section "thought of the day", but as I started writing more and more, it became more of a "let's write an article about a specific subject" and less "what the fuck is going through my head".
Because I'm at the beginning of Act II, I suppose I'll have a lot more thoughts and things I need to figure out.
Consequently, this blog might turn back into a brain dumb more than anything else unless I feel like writing an "article-like" post. Basically, I'm just doing whatever the fuck I want, this is my blog.
Alright, let's get to it.
Gosh, I really thought after writing my post on the start of Act II, shit was going to magically going to workout.
But today hit me like a damn truck.
In all aspects.
I totally lost my killer mentality and I think it's normal. I didn't expect to have it every single day, but one day later? Really? haha whatever.
In my mind, the most important part to yesterday's post was that I made my choice of striving for the life I want vs what I consider settling.
All the rest is something I'll have to figure out.
I hate when I say something and then change my mind about it. It really shows one of my greatness weaknesses: lack of commitment.
When JB asked me the other day (like yesterday?) what I wanted to do, I answered some shit. And in that moment, it was the truth. I had thought about what I wanted and that was the answer that I came up with.
Okay fuck it, imma just be real here and tell all the details.
I answered that I wanted to be a business consultant/coach/mentor. Someone who advises people how to improve their business in order to thrive.
There are two reasons I answered this.
The first one was because I've always had a side of me who wanted to start my own business and consequently, I spent and still spend many hours per week educating myself on all type of business related things. I'm not FORCING myself to, it's just something I'm genuinely interested in.
The second reason is that I thought of my friends. I had this thought that one of the things I wanted to do was help my friends thrive in life (and I still do, I wish happiness upon everyone, but specifically my friends). And in my mind, one of the best things I could do to help them is consult on whatever business they would want to create. Whether it be an actual business or them becoming their own boss (freelancer, trainer, etc.)
In order to take my first step towards this possible new career, I reached out to one of my contacts(?), Trinh. Trinh is basically doing what I'd want to. He mentors different businesses, has some sort of stakes (investment) in them and so when they thrive, he thrives. It's a perfect setup, win-win type of situation.
I'll spare you the details, but the one thing he told me was this: "If you THINK you want to do what I do, the first step is to go and reach out to individual/business you know and help them grow."
Very simple advice, but he was right.
I could make a thousand excuses about how I don't have the skills yet and bla bla bla, but the reality is that I do have some skills right now that I could apply to a business and maybe not help them 10x their revenue, but I can most likely have a positive impact on their business.
Thus, I started scrolling my IG and making a mental list of all the individuals/businesses that could use my help.
And that's when something within me started to fight back.
As I was making my mental list, I suddenly felt less excited about helping these people grow their businesses.
And I asked myself why.
Now, this is the part I genuinely don't know yet.
I do not know if it is FEAR or if I really just lost interested. As I was scrolling through the list, I was like "this is a product problem, this is a marketing problem, this is a value proposition problem, etc." it kinda.... seemed boring.
What I was really interested in though, was talking to these people. Getting to know them, ask them their story, what their dreams are and most importantly, what's holding them back? Because I do believe that the best way to make the world a better place is to have people be the best versions of themselves.
And then I was like fuuuuuuck, this sounds a lot like life/personal coaching.
The reason I say fuck is because I know for a fact, that I also have a mental blocker when it comes to this.
The same way I had a mental blocker when it came to technical vs non-technical roles in a company, I also have a mental blocker when it comes to this profession.
I'm good at communication, I'm a good listener, I ask really good questions, I love pushing people to do their best, I'm generally good with people, I'm good at making people listen to me and formulate things in their best interest and, in general, I find people interesting !
Shiiiiiiit... okay okay okay. I know why I have a mental blocker, but it's also 1:44am, I need to go to sleep soon.
My mental blocker is a lack of confidence.
Overall, I do feel like the whole life coaching / personal coaching industry is full of "scammers". They're not ill-intended people. It's just I feel like a lot of people went into this industry, yes to "help people, but also to make a name for themselves, then sell their courses, etc.
And I guess, I just don't want to be a scammer.
Based on what I wrote previously, I think I'd make a good "coach" (I don't like that term, I might find something else for myself), but what the hell do I know? I don't want to take people's money for nothing. I genuinely want to be good at what I do and help.
Anyway, that's where I'm at in my thought process.
- Should I continue on this business coach / mentor / consultant path? If I don't, what does that say about my commitment? Am I just scared and am trying to rationalize my fear? If I change my mind now, who says I won't change my mind again for something else later on?
- How do I get over this mental blocker towards being a personal coach? Are personal coaches simply people who can't find "their" thing? Am I going to be good at this?
I also had a bad mental episode today at training where 1. I got really discouraged because the gap between me and the others was so large (I played with the elite group today) and 2. I also played a game where I wasn't giving it my all and lost 1 set and I hate myself for it. Mindset is everything.