Celebrating accomplishments (#014)

I want to start celebrating my accomplishments more, but not too much obviously.

Day events:

  • In-person office day.
  • Great team discussion.
  • Always nice to see the OG + OG wife (and kobe).
  • Ate some excellent tarte made by mister chef on the team.
  • Bonding time with the team (some nice embarrassing stories were told).
  • Online games + fun discussions with JB.

Thought of the day:

During our discussion tonight, JB asked me if I was proud of how far I've come mentally.

I answered "yes and no. Although I acknowledge that I've come far, I still feel like there's more to grow and cannot wait to see how far I'll be in 10 year." (paraphrasing)

On the spot, I gave the most natural answer that came to me, but after thinking about it, I wished I had said something slightly different.

Instead of "I acknowledge that I've come far", I really wanted to say "Yes, I am 1000% proud of my progress so far."

I know, I know.

From an exterior view, it doesn't look like much.

But internally, I think it makes a huge difference.

Let me explain.

As someone who comes from an Asian background, I feel like there isn't a lot of emphasis put on celebration accomplishments.

A quick one that comes to mind is that one meme with the grades A, B, C, D, F and the first grade, the top grade, A, stands for Average, then B for Bad and then it just gets worse from there.

I obviously know that this is a meme and is meant as a joke, but as I like to say, there's always a bit of truth in every joke (or meme).

In this particular case, the truth is that, for a lot of Asians, the baseline expectation is to get good grades. Maybe not always getting As (although I'm 100% sure some students do have those expectations), but at least getting As and Bs only.

And because the baseline expectation is so high, it makes it extremely difficult to have accomplishments and, consequently, to celebrate them. "Why should I celebrate my kid getting all As when that was simply what was expected of him."

In my case though, I'm not going to pretend that I had those same expectations because my mom was honestly pretty chill about my grades. But even so, I think growing up in an Asian family/ environment taught me that most of my accomplishments are "expected" (and thus not worth celebrating) or that concentrating on the next thing to improve is a better use of my time.

This actually did wonders to my growth life because I was constantly focusing on what to improve upon, but at the same time, was disastrous for my mental health because it always made me feel like whatever I was doing wasn't good / enough.

I'm not saying that I should start every fucking tiny win that I have as if I had won the NBA finals, but I also don't want to brush off my accomplishments as simply being "expected".

Not too much, not too little, just enough.

So yeah, with all this being said, I am 1000% proud of my mental progress and cannot wait to see where I'll be in 10 years.

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