Communication is key (#072)

Little post-processing of my first convo with my ex after our breakup.

Day events:

  • Spent some time doing some house chores (vacuum, washing the bathroom, etc.)
  • Really great convo with JB (I ALWAYS enjoy our convos, but today was a good convo day haha).
  • Had a long conversation with my ex (It went pretty well and I'm glad we were able to end things on very amicable terms).
  • Ate some Cha Ca at Mommy's (I was late for the supper and did not warn her, need to do better next time. Sorry !).

The grateful section:

  1. Grateful for the friendship+ that JB and I established together. Good communication, compliments, encouragement, belief in each other, mutual hype people, listeners and much more.
  2. Grateful for the last 5 years spent with an amazing human being who simply wasn't what I was looking for in a life partner, but they were amazing 5 years regardless of the ups and downs.
  3. Grateful to have been born with tastebuds that love fruits. Man, today I ate an orange and that shit was sooo good and sweet.

Thought of the day:

Today was the first time since the breakup that my ex and I saw each other.

At first, I was nervous because I didn't know how she felt about the breakup and I was afraid that seeing me might trigger her emotionally.

I was surprised to find out that we started talking pretty normally.

She was telling me all about Korea, how great of a country it was (note to self: I DEFINITELY need to visit Korea) and how much she enjoyed her time there.

We pretty much talked about Korea and the joys of living away from our parents (she was in exchange for 6 months so she tasted the freedom before I did) until we reached our destination, an ice cream shop.

While waiting for what seemed to be the longest time I've ever waited to get ice cream, we started discussing about how it was to be back in Montreal after such a long time.

We finally got our ice creams and as soon as we left to walk back, we started discussing about the breakup.

I obviously won't go in details, but I'm very glad that we were both pretty level-headed. I think the fact that almost 6 months has passed helped a lot with this.

I think we've both mutually moved on in our own respective ways.

As I was explaining to her some of the reasons why I ultimately decided to break up, it really really came down to lack of communication between us.

There are many things that I did not say to her as I did not feel comfortable voicing out loud such as she also only thought certain things in her head while telling me other things, leading to obvious misunderstandings.

This really reinforced to me the importance of establishing a strong communication foundation at the very beginning of a relationship and it's going to be something that regardless if it's a romantic or friend relationship, I'll make sure to establish.

It can obviously be really hard in some cases, but if I've learned one thing from this relationship, it's that it's worth it. And the earlier you start working on this, the better it'll get.

This is like compound interest.

Start it really early and with time, it'll unlock so many other things.

Whereas if you wait until later in the relationship, it might end up being too late (such was the case for me).

Alright that's it.

I've spared details for obvious reasons, but if there's one thing I wanted to remind myself is that COMMUNICATION IS KEY.

Subscribe to nijahusa

Don’t miss out on the latest issues. Sign up now to get access to the library of members-only issues.
jamie@example.com
Subscribe