Don't forget why you do all this (#101)

Day highlights:

  • Literally did nothing at work today (everyone caught covid so it was an ultra slow day).
  • Fun mini-speed adventure with JB while going to badminton.
  • Badminton (am I ready for the tournament? Hmm... not too sure hahaha).
  • Nice little video chat with Mr. PDS (you got this bro, I know you're going to make the right decision, no matter what it is. Follow your gut !)
  • Unexpected truthful, open and honest conversation with JB (again, thank you for your bravery and sorry you had to keep it all inside you).

Thought of the day:

This is a short post to remind myself about keeping in mind my priorities and why I even do all these things in the first place.

As I was taking my call with Mr. PDS after staying the whole way in badminton, I knew that I was going to sleep late.

I told myself this week that I had to prepare for Sherbrooke and with that, I had to sleep early.

As I was finishing the call with Mr. PDS, I looked at the time and it was already past my bedtime, but then, I received an alarming message from JB...

We had to talk.

Fast forward to the end of our conversation and it is now 2:51am and I'm still writing my blog.

I think the old me would have felt bad that I'm not sleeping early today. Afraid that it might affect my performance during the tournament.

But not the current me.

As I was talking with JB, I deeply understood something fundamental about myself.

I do things because I want to be happy.

It's as simple as that.

I don't even know if happy is the right word, but fuck it, I'll just roll with that.

The reason why I wanted to sleep early every day this week is so that at the tournament, I would give myself the best chances of performing well. Why? Because I know that if I play well, no matter the results of the tournament, it'll make me happy.

Obviously, I want to win, but I can only control the outcome of the match to a certain extend. No matter how well I play, if I play against someone definitely stronger than me, then I'll lose. But if I play well, it'll still make me happy.

And so, when I realized that all these things I do, whether it be go to the gym, practice badminton, eat well, write, build routines, etc. are for the sake of being happy, I told myself that all these things were indeed important, but there are some things that are even more important because they make me the happiest.

One of these things are the relationships I have with my friends and loved ones.

The reason why I currently couldn't give a flying fuck about it being 3am despite wanting to sleep early is because playing well at a tournament might make me happy, but being there for a friend and strengthening my relationships with loved ones make me so much happier.

And that says a lot, because I fucking love badminton.

But, at the end of the day, when my life will be nearing it's end and I'll be on my death bed thinking about my life, I know a thousand percent that I won't be thinking "wow, I'm so glad I played so well at all these badminton tournaments" or "wow, I'm so glad I slept 8 hours every day of my life" or "wow, I'm so glad I ate 2700 calories every day", but instead, I'll be thinking

"wow, I'm so glad I took the time to invest, build and maintain such amazing friendships and relationships throughout my whole life".

Don't forget why you do all this.

Good night.

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