Experience more (#155)

Day highlights:

  • Costco run with some good food sampling while I was there.
  • I was lucky enough to spend a bit of time with JB today. Not doing anything crazy, but simply enjoying her company xx.
  • Masterpiece pasta supper at Mr. PDS' place tonight with lots of yak yak ing and lots to think about.

Thought of the day:

I love walking.

And I hate them at the same time because they always make me feel crazy.

Whenever I take a walk, everything seems so clear and crisp in my head.

I seem to be able to let my imagination run wild without worries or fears.

As soon as I come back inside my apartment though, it's as if reality slaps me and bursts my bubble a little bit.

All the fears and worries and doubts come flooding back in my mind and, suddenly, I'm back to the same person I was before the walk.

Anyway, on my walk today, I thought about my gap year again and thought that I'd be stupid not to try it.

Ever since I started working or even before then, I've had a little voice in my head urging me to take the time to just do whatever I want.

Logically, it doesn't make sense. I'll be not only spending money to sustain myself, but I'll also halt my earnings.

Even so, I think it's almost crazy not to try and see what's out there.

I feel like life, in general, has so much to offer. There are so many experiences, lifestyles, subjects, people, places, ideas, etc. out there to explore and yet, we spend most of our lives only exploring this tiny little box that society has setup for us.

Think about it, when we're young like age 4 or something, we learn so many new things every single day, week, month, year. Even when we're still in school, I feel like we learn so much. A lot of times, they're not things that we actually want to learn, but we're still learning and growing.

But then, what happens when we're out of school?

Suddenly, we're very limited in our learning experiences. Yes, it's up to us to go out there and learn new things, but it's so easy to get caught up in our day to day lives that we don't really have time to learn anything new.

At least, that's how I feel for myself.

If I take the last 4 years of my life, I honestly cannot tell you that I've changed much or learned much.

I definitely grew psychologically, but other than that... I roughly have the same skills, do the same things, eat the same food, etc.

And this very idea that I could spend my whole life like this, instead of 4 years, make it 40 years or 60 years, is just... shake my head. I don't want that for myself.

Good night.

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