- Decided to take responsibility for the chat widget project and collab with F-X on it.
- Went for a haircut (the fade is sleek af, a bit too short though).
- Finally changed my LinkedIn + Slack picture.
- Met my intern for the summer (let's call her charmander).
- Went to the gym and had another good session.
- Started taking care of my income taxes for DRIVS (thanks dad for the help).
Thought of the day:
Okay, I wanted to write a longer blog post today, but I don't think I have time.
I also don't want to put it off to tomorrow because I like thinking of something, writing it down and then forgetting about it.
There's too much pressure of making it as good as what I had previously thought in my head.
Anyway, here goes the abbreviated version.
While growing up, I was always one of those lucky kids that found money everywhere. It probably had to do with the fact that I was looking at the ground all the time (esty que j'etais perdu).
Consequently, my mom would always tell me that it's an early sign that I'll be rich later on.
But I honestly didn't really care about money growing up.
As long as I could play on the computer or spend time outside with my friends, I was good.
I do acknowledge that I was privileged and yada yada yada.
One I got to University though, something switched within me. Maybe I was more exposed to the cost of life or maybe I started reading self-help books which eventually led to entrepreneurship and thus exposure to lots of $$$. Whatever it was, I got hooked on making big bucks.
The added bonus was that I had very low self-confidence and I knew that money = power = respect = no need for self-confidence (or so I thought anyway).
So post-graduation, I was still in my "let's make lots of money" phase and every idea or potential career I had in mind was somehow related to money.
And that mentality was toxic af, I definitely do not recommend it to anyone.
Fast forward a bit, I had worked on myself, increased my self-confidence and got out of my head that money = respect = self-confidence.
With that gone, I also thought that my wish of making lots of money would disappear with it. Yet, something in me still wanted money. Not necessarily the multi millions that I once wanted, but still like... a high number.
I recently realized that I was being fearful. And still am to some extent.
I don't know if it's the news, my parents, adults in general or whatever. But something out there is making me feel like if I don't accumulate a lot of money now, I might be fucked in my older years (65+).
When I really thought hard about it though, I asked myself "what does being fucked even mean?"
Is it that I'll live on the streets and not have anything to eat? Hell no. I would never let myself be in that position (and I do find it very unfortunate for people who are in that position).
I know and am confident in myself that I would at least be able to save enough to cover the 1st level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (my favorite pyramid tbh).
So then what would I be losing? My friends? No. My loved ones? No. My health? Probably not. so what?
And that's when I had my epic epiphany.
There's two ways (or more, but whatever) to go about this.
The first way is what I'm currently doing. Living in fear that I'll lose my luxurious life and constantly think of how to earn more money in order to keep up this lifestyle.
The second one is what I'm trying to aim for, which is just being comfortable with being uncomfortable.
If I am able to be as "happy" or "content" with sleeping in a 2 star motel than sleeping in a 5 start super luxurious hotel, then I'm good.
If I am able to be as content living in a loft than living in a 5 1/2 (not taking into account kids here), then I'm good.
The best and most satisfying things in life cannot be bought. Training hard at badminton cannot be bought. Bootstrapping a company cannot be bought. Spending time with loved ones cannot be bought. Going to the gym... well.. I do need a membership but I can find ones for 10$/month vs 50$/month so.... cannot be bought.
If I'm able to do all the above, why would I need luxuries?
I need to practice being uncomfortable more often.