Gratitude post (#055)

A list of things I am grateful for.

Day events:

  • Mid-year evaluation (it went surprisingly well hahaha).
  • Most productive day of the month (finished the goddamn thing I've been putting off for the past 6 weeks now hehehe).
  • Note to self: Coding is fun, but only like once every month (maybe I'll do 1 weekend project every month or so).
  • Video chattinggg with the one and only Ms. JB (ft. the whole family as supporting cast haahah).
  • Good badminton practice (broke my bad playing streak woohoo).
  • Overall, pretty damn good day !

Thought of the day:

Listen, today was a good day. It wasn't the high intensity good that I felt during those 2 weeks, it was more of a mellow good. Like... "ah, every thing is falling into place".

Because I'm feeling joyous and happy, I'll dedicate today's post to some things I am grateful for:

My mom: Ever since I moved out, I feel like the separation has done good for our relationship. We already had a pretty good relationship, but now I feel like I can understand her as a person a lot more. My mom's great, she obviously has her flaws but we all do. I'm so grateful to have been raised by her, that she continues to support me and my brother by feeding the fuck out of us and I hope me, her and my brother can continue to develop a deeper relationship not only mother and sons, but also between 3 adults who love and respect each other.

My brother: We started off our lives on a pretty negative path, later on became super close, then drifted a little bit when he moved out (nothing negative, we just couldn't talk to each other that much) and now that we're living together, I feel like we're re-meshing like we used to, but now as 2 people with their separate lives and always supporting each other. We honestly aren't even at home that often together and even if we are, we're not talking 24/7 to each other, but it's the small conversations here and there about everything and nothing that makes the difference. Thank you for being my brother and I hope we'll both figure out our shits and thrive as the HughSamBros.

My body: Over the years, I've had a couple of injuries, which I absolutely hated. I've also always been insecure about height my whole life. But goddamn, am I fucking grateful for my body. My body that allows me to play badminton like a fanatic without breaking down (obviously, I'm also taking care of it). My body that allows me to go to the gym, workout and feel confident about myself, my strength and how I look. I still have a nagging injury that prevents me from running, but I WILL figure out what's wrong and I will put in the effort to make me 100% normal again. I'm grateful for being blessed with this short, but healthy and strong body.

My friends: This aspect of my life has always seemed to be right place and right time type of thing. I feel like I've always had the right people come into my life just when I needed it. Some have stayed, some have left, but I am still grateful for every single friend I had up until now because they all made me who I am today and continue to influence me and cheer me on. This is a no-bs zone so I want to give a very special shoutout to Ms. JB and Mr.PDS who have been absolutely the best people I can ask for to have in my life. You have literally been blessings in my life and words cannot express how grateful and thankful I am to have you in my life. So thank you so much, you guys are awesome, I hope we continue to support each other on our path to living our best fucking lives ! Also, special shoutout to Mr. FS and Mr. NYC for being my longtime friends and also to Mr. WHAAAAT for always making badminton fun.

My coworkers & manager: To be honest, I haven't been the best of employees lately because of what was going on in my personal life (didn't know what the fuck to do with my life), but they were always very understanding, always fun to talk to (kept my mind off of me being a bad employee) and I also didn't get fired. Okay, I'm not that bad of an employee, but for sure there are some high-performance companies out there that would have fired my low-output ass. So yeah, I guess I'm just grateful of working in a cool, understanding and humane team !

Having a clear goal: Yes ! Finally ! It happened many times in the past where I told myself that I've found what I wanted to do only to change my mind after a few weeks. This might happen again, but I have a feeling that it's different. At least though, it gives me something to focus on right now instead of constantly thinking, thinking, thinking all day long about what I want to do with my one precious life. The reason why I say it feels different is because, all the previous times, I'd either feel really nervous in a bad way about it or my mind was always gearing towards "this has to work". But right now, I feel calm. It's as if it just makes sense? I'm obviously excited about it and a little nervous at the same time, but I also can't wait to learn and try things out, which I don't think is something I've felt in my previous experiences (especially the learning part).

To end this post, I also want to thank the man up there.

Yes, God.

Gosh, I never thought I'd type this, but I can't deny it, or at least, everything is just too "perfect" for me to ignore it.

I've been praying to God lately and I don't know if that's how it's supposed to work. The whole "ask and you shall receive" thing, but timing wise and how everything seems to fall into place.

What more can I say.

Thank you, God.

That's it.

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