If you want to, do it. Stop overthinking it. (#015)

There's no better reason to do something then simply wanting to.

Day events:

  • Woke up pretty late because I slept at like 5am yesterday (I literally saw the sun coming up).
  • Went to KT's new house (that shit is huuuuuuuge). It was surreal.
  • Nice bonding time with my friends (great reminder of why I usually don't drink. That shit knocked me tf out).
  • Singing session (cegep vibes).

Thought of the day:

If you don't know already. I'm happier than ever right now.

It's fucking great, being depressed sucks ass and I'm well aware that it won't always be this rosy, but for the time being, I'll enjoy it as much as possible.

One of the main reasons for my happiness is that I stopped overthinking things.

It sounds really simple, but believe me when I say that it's easier said than done.

In the past, I remember wanting everything I did to have a specific purpose.

I always had the feeling that time was the most precious resource (which is true to some extent) and consequently, life was about optimizing what I did with my time.

The easy part was to simply cut off as much as possible anything that was a direct "waste of time". Cheap entertainment such as YouTube, Social Media, Netflix, etc. were some examples.

Obviously, I wasn't a robot. I still indulged in those things from time to time as a means of relaxation, but I was very conscientious with my time spent on "cheap entertainment".

But beyond that, I also constantly tried to optimize my time when it came to more important aspects.

I'd always try to find the best gym program to ensure maximal gains when I went to the gym.

I'd think of what was the best project I could start that'll be worth my time.

I'd want to be at a perfect job as to not waste my time elsewhere.

All this optimizing was somewhat good, but it was also very limiting and created a lot of contradictions.

An example of this was if I wanted to do something that had no real tangible added value to my life.

Badminton was one of those. I obviously always enjoyed playing badminton and wanted to get better; however, in the back of my mind, I always kept telling myself "what's the point?" Is badminton going to help me career wise? No. Is badminton going to make me a better person? (In general) No. So why even bother? What's the point of playing?

I eventually realized and continue to remind myself that sometimes you don't need a reason.

Do I enjoy playing badminton? Yes. Do I want to get better at it? Yes. Then I should simply do that.

I noticed today that I really loved singing and I know for a fact that I'll never be an artist or anything, but so what? If I enjoy singing then I should just sing more often. Karaoke, in the car, during work, heck, take singing lessons if I want to.

Same thing with the coding project I want to do. It honestly won't make me any money and there are probably more optimal projects to spend my time on, but so what? If I want to do a cool and useless project then so be it.

At the end of the day, if I truly want to do it and doing it makes me happy, shouldn't that be enough of a good reason?

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