It feels weird not having to think (#069)

A post about the weirdness of not having to think about my life (for once).

Day events:

  • Today was a day off for me (spent most of it with Mr. PDS).
  • Finally received our sofa (we still have to assemble it though).
  • Went to go get my first deep pressure massage (it felt sooo good, will definitely go back !)
  • Ate quite a lot for lunch (a burrito, I love burritos and com ga nuong - these two combine were about 1500 calories haha).
  • Discussed about Mr.PDS' potential new condo (hopefully the visit goes well and you pull the trigger on this !!).
  • Watched Thor Love and Thunder at the movies with Mr. PDS (the movie was a let down, we also paid extra for VIP, it was a nice experience, but wouldn't do it often cuz that shit was expensive haha).
  • Finished off with a deadly badminton practice (not a lot of people were present so we did multibirds with Ihsan, my legs are dead).

The grateful section:

  1. I am grateful to have a great friend in Mr. PDS and it was great to spend the day with him ! Love you bro.
  2. I am grateful that my masseuse told me to go get my neck checked out in case it's something serious.
  3. I am grateful that today I was able to talk with JB a bit more than usual (obviously, am not grateful about why this happened aka JB being out of commission haha), but I gotta enjoy it while I can cuz we're both busy people !

Thought of the day:

I've spent most of my life thinking and overthinking about the important aspects of my life.

These areas can be broken down into: health, job / career, hobbies and relationships.

Once I became more aware of life and started to take my own decisions, I more or less have always been thinking or overthinking about at least one of these areas all the time.

And when I say all the time, I really mean it.

There were no days off for my brain.

I always wanted to find what I wanted or I always wanted to optimize to get the best outcome possible.

However, these past few weeks / months, I feel like I'm had tremendous personal growth and self-awareness to the point where I am happy with all of these areas.

Health: Working out more than ever while getting better at badminton and creating the body I want.

Job / career: This one I haven't figured out yet 100%, but I'm pretty happy with where I am and realized that there's probably no "standard" job that'll ever satisfy me forever.

Hobbies: I've decided to live a more creative life by simply creating whatever I want and having Faith that things will workout (obviously doing my best too).

Relationships: I really feel like the people I currently have in my life are the best, for me, that I've even had. Less quantity, but higher quality.

Obviously, I'm not settling here. I know that I'm still far away from my ideal life; however, I know that I'm making steady progress towards it. Now, all I have to do is be patient, continue working diligently and have faith that I'll always continue towards my ideal life (which, I don't think is a finite point, I'll never reach it, but I can always go more and more towards it).

It's just weird for me to have a week like this week where I was just doing things and not really overthinking anything.

And even now, I can sense myself wanting to think too much about certain aspects of my life, but I also know that if I think too much about it, I'll worry and this worry is the actual thing that'll make me go from happy to unhappy.

So yeah, just wanted to say that it was weird not having to constantly think. I feel like a part of me is missing because I'm just so used to it. I'm not complaining though.

Thanks, God !

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