Lex Fridman, Ye & my role on earth (#145)

Day highlights:

  • Discovered that we had an air exchanger in the apartment and I'm so grateful for it.
  • Watched / listed to the Lex Fridman podcast with Ye as a guest.
  • Played some good badminton (resting and recovery is very good for my performance).
  • Went over to JB's house to cook with her and make her feel better about her day (thank you for having me over and spending time with me).

Thought of the day:

I just finished an incredible interview between Lex Fridman and Kanye West.

I've always been a big big fan of Kanye West. Especially in his earlier days and especially with his music production / creations.

I was even a big fan of his earlier philosophies, the way he spoke and everything. He was so magnetic and enthusiastic. The way he had so much confidence in himself.

Nowadays, I still look forward to all his music, but I am no longer sure how I feel about his philosophy. I am imperfect and he is too and maybe it's because I listen too much to what mainstream media has to say about him, but I find myself not relating to his points as much.

Even so though, I feel that it's important to spend time and listen to his points and listen to entire discussions he has. Let him explain himself and try to justify his actions. Even after his justifications, I might still disagree with him, but at least, I heard him out. The words came directly from him. I don't have to agree with him, but at least I know where he's coming from. How from his angle, his words and actions might be justified.

The one thing I will always respect about Ye, no matter what, is his independent thought. It doesn't matter what comes out of his mouth and how crazy people think he is, I know for sure that whatever comes out of his mouth, he came to this conclusion "by himself". I put the quotes because the thoughts might have been constructed by having discussions with other people, but at the end of the day, he believes in what he says.

For me, as someone who has always been a sheep, always a follower, always a people pleaser, I have the utmost respect for someone who is able to say what they think without fearing the consequences. And owning to it. And admitting when they're wrong. Admitting that, as human beings, we are flawed. Only God is perfect. It's okay if we're wrong. We can't always be right; it's impossible because then we'd be unflawed, but we are sinners. Flawed by nature.

The other thing I realized from this interview is that simply speaking and having discussions is so so powerful.

I've known for a while now that one of my gifts is speaking. I would like to say that it's communication, but I am still flawed to the point where if I'm triggered, I can no longer hold a logical conversation. I will say speaking and talking only for now.

I'm just starting to realize that there is power in speaking and talking. This may simply be my role.

I've always wanted to be a creator. The engineer. The person actually doing the work. I don't like the idea that I have to rely on other people to accomplish something. As a creator, I wouldn't have to.

But maybe that's not what God planned for me. Maybe I was put on this earth in order to speak, to seek the truth, to surface problems, to spread out ideas, to generate discussions, but not to do the work.

There might be other people out there who have the necessary gifts to accomplish the needed work and that might not be me.

And that's okay... I think.

Good night.

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