One of the reasons why I worry about my career (#037)

Longer ish post that explains one of my worries.

Day events:

  • Badminton training with Mr WHAAT & KL.
  • Supper at mom's house (fucking ate too much).
  • Really nice night ride back home (I never paid attention to this, but I really really love riding bikes, there's something really freeing about biking).
  • Finally got to spend a little bit of time talking with the broski.

Thought of the day:

This is the first time in a while where I have some free time to write my blog without having the pressure of falling asleep hahaha.

So I hope it'll be higher quality than what I usually write.

Yesterday, in my half-sleep state, I somehow managed to hint about today's subject: Why I Worry About My Career.

The TL;DR version is that I don't like wasting time.

Not my time nor anyone else's time.

It's no secret that one of the most precious resources in the world is time because you can never gain it back.

One wasted minute is a minute that you'll never ever get back no matter how much or how bad you want it.

Obviously, it depends what your definition of "waste" is. One can argue that everything is subjective, which I totally agree with.

Maybe for me, playing 2 hours of badminton is not a waste of time whereas for someone else, it might be.

Everyone has their own definition of waste and the important part is knowing what is a waste for YOU.

In my case, I feel like the work I'm doing right now is a waste of time for me.

I'm not passionate about it, I feel like it serves no greater purpose, I don't get any joy out of doing it and I'm not using my full potential.

Because of all these reasons, I'm not the best of workers either.

Meaning that not only am I wasting my time, but I'm also wasting time for my company.

I mean, I understand, I'm doing it for the salary. Money, although not the end goal, is a resource that makes life easier and even facilitates one's path to their end goal (whatever that is - unless you're a monk or something).

But I know my worth. I know that I CAN be very good at something and I'll probably get paid as much or even more than what I'm getting paid right now.

So right now, I'm trying to rack my brain or listen to my intuition as much as possible to try and figure out what in the hell am I supposed to be doing. What is the role or position that will best utilize my strengths so that I can maximize my output to the world.

And as every work day goes by where I am not in that position, I just feel time slipping by, knowing that I cannot get it back.

With all that being said though, I do know that I have to be PATIENT.

Maybe it just isn't my time yet.

Maybe all this frustration and these experiences will lead up to something and I just cannot see it yet.

I'm just, in general, a pretty impatient person who likes being in control (for the most part).

I also believe that even though things might be part of a bigger plan, we have our part to play in it such as putting ourselves in positions where things might happen.

It's not true that if I sit on my ass all day long, doing absolutely nothing (ok, I know that this is IMPOSSIBLE), things will happen.

No, I believe that if I put myself out there, follow my curiosity, take chances and drift towards things that interest me, then and only then, will I be able to see the lighthouse that will lead me to shore.

But first, I need to find what interests me & my strengths...

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