Thought of the day:
I've been trained to think about what others will think of my decisions and fear other people's judgement.
In order to do what I wrote about in yesterday's post, about "doing what I want, when I want", I'll need to unlearn all this behaviour.
And it's going to be super hard and it'll take some time. It's so deep rooted and ingrained into me that I often confuse other people's thoughts for my own.
When I think about goals, for instance, the first thing that comes into my mind is set a goal far into the future and reverse engineer it to know what steps need to be taken now.
This is almost common sense and common practice to everyone who dipped their toes into goal setting and I've tried it so so many times and have failed 100% of the time.
I assessed that it does not work for me and I now realized that I'm not even the one who came up with this framework of goal setting. Other people did. I tried it and it did not work. Time to move on.
Maybe instead I should try a framework that *I think* works for me and that I come up with.
As I said, it won't be easy to differientiate what are *my* thoughts vs other people's; however, the reason why I'm not that afraid is because I've been self-analyzing myself for years. My self-awareness is pretty fucking high. And that'll greatly help me.
Additionally, I've always caught myself asking people for their opinions because I wanted self validation that what I was doing was good and "safe". Afterall, if smart people (whom I consult) approve of my future plans, then I should be safe right? Well, even smart people don't have all the answers. It's not that I won't ask people for advice or keep everything to myself, I just won't ask their opinions for validation.
It'll just be to see if any new relevant information will come up. Ultimately, it'll be my own decision. So, if I ask you for your opinion and do the total opposite, just know that you did nothing wrong, it simply was not aligned with how I thought.
I think living on my own terms means being different. It means that people might see me as unreasonable or even crazy. But that's what it takes to bend life to my own beat and not the other way around.
If I manage to do this, I'm confident that everyone around me will benefit from this. No exceptions.
Also, I recently realized that I cared a bit too much about what other people were doing, how they were living their lives. It's such a waste of time and energy. I'll always be there if asked for advice or explicitely called out for my opinion, but if not, I'll just be here minding my own business regardless of what others do. I don't know shit and consequently, I have no right to have my opinion on anything unrelated to myself. Nothing "should" or "shouldn't" be a certain way. If it bothers me that much, then I'll do something about it. Something actionable. If not, just let it be and live around it. Unbothered.
Good day again.