Purest nijahusa yet (#103)

Day highlights:

  • Work / Study date with JB at the apartment (can't wait for more !)
  • JB almost made me pass out hahaha
  • A little bit of badminton before the tournament
  • Reflecting on my life

Thought of the day:

I am definitely in a transition period right now.

My mind is totally empty and I'm starting from a blank slate.

When I wrote my post about this being the start of Act II, I was right, but at the same time so wrong.

I was right because it was indeed the start of something new (s/o to high school musical); however, I did not think this is what Act II was going to be about.

When I wrote that post, I thought I wanted to be this life coach / business coach or whatever and that I was ready to grind and focus on myself in order to achieve it.

It was what I had always envisioned myself doing. Picking one thing and giving my all to it.

Even though it was what I thought I wanted, it wasn't what I actually needed.

This was simply yet again an example of what I thought I wanted to be and not who I was.

I now feel how I used to feel in University.

Free and without expectations of who I should be or what I should do.

I no longer feel influenced by ig influencers or twitter gods or youtube stars.

The only thing I'm thinking about when wanted to take action is what do I want.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still lost and have no idea what my next step will be.

The difference is that I'm lost because I simply never thought about what I wanted for myself.

It's no longer about what other people want for me or how do I live up to "other people's" expectations of me.

All I want now is to become the purest version of myself and that's all.

I want to thank JB (I could thank you a billion times for everything you do for me - and for us) because I don't think I would have gotten here without you and the man up there.

I was somehow able to understand that just being me was enough not only for you, but in life also.

Thank you JB.

Thank you God.

Good night.

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