Sorting my thoughts part 1 (#122)

Day highlights:

  • Good lower body gym session.
  • Felt good to have a more relaxing evening after gym.

Thought of the day:

It's been a while since I had time to have a thinking session.

I used to go on random walks or meditate every morning in order to spend time with my mind to sort out all my different thoughts.

With my new schedule though, I should have time to think in the evenings after my gym sessions.

In case I do not, I want to use this blogging time as a way of organizing my thoughts or, at least, part of them.

I'll only talk about things I would want and not commit to whether or not I'll actually take action.

I've been wanting to try doing things in silence, quietly without telling anybody and see if it'll motivate me to keep at it longer.

Want #1:

For badminton, my main goal is really to re-learn everything and become as smooth as possible. I want my badminton to be effortless because I have the right technique. It's going to be extremely hard to forget everything I've learned and start from the ground up. Additionally, I don't even know how I'll train from the ground up, but I feel like aiming for smoothness is going to be good for my badminton game and also for longevity (less taxing on my body).

Want #2:

For my body, my main goal is to get it injury free. It affects everything I do and I hate it. I can't gym properly, I can't play badminton properly, hell, I couldn't dance freely at my friend's wedding. It's frustrating because I technically don't know what I have and, consequently, I do not know what to do to fix myself. All I know for now, is that I need to take better care of my body. Sleep more, active recovery more.

Want #3:

For fitness, I want to reach a bodyweight of 170lbs with muscle (as opposed to fat). Bodybuild the upper and athletic the lower. Meaning that I want to have a nice looking upper body, obviously that is also strong and have a springy, flexible, explosive lower body. I also want my body to be mobile and relaxed.

Want #4:

For work, my main goal is simply to give my best at work, which is so so so so hard. Obviously, I'd want a higher paying job and maybe something I like a bit more, but it shouldn't be a factor in how much effort I put into my work. No matter where I am, I feel like I should be able to put a lot more effort than what I am currently putting in. Sorry for the bad self-talk, but I'm a loser at work and I hate it. I believe in the saying "how you do anything is how you do everything" and if I did everything like my job, I'd be a loser for life. Obviously, I don't want that haha.

Want #5:

For spirituality, my main goal is to find time to explore Christianity more. Ever since JB came into my life, I've been more and more curious about christianity and I'd like to actively learn more about it, on my terms. A part of me has always been more pulled towards christianity than buddhism even though my whole family is buddhist.

Want #6:

For my life in general, I'd like to have a direction of where I want to go. Ever since I've abandoned my identity of being this software developer who wants to be an entrepreneur, I feel like I've been a lost soul simply wandering around. On one end, I liked it because it allowed me to not overthink; however, on the other end, I felt aimless in life.

Want #7:

For inspiration, wherever I decide to start, I'd like to have a visual way of documenting my journey in order to inspire others to follow suit. Watching Ms. CBA build her project, not only for herself, but for the greater asian community really made me realize that there is value in sharing one's story. No matter what it is, there are people out there with stories not so different than ours and if we find ways to help ourselves, by sharing our journey, we might be able to help others in the process.

I'm out of time. This is what I have for now.

Good night.

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