Staying in my lane and focusing on MY life (#060)

Day events:

• Woke up, meditated for 10 minutes while setting my intentions for the day.
• Cleaned the kitchen table (that shit was diiiirty).
• Downloaded the book "Big Magic" and then went on an Amazon book spree to create a list of books I might like to read.
• Completed my work related task of the day.
• Wrote out my core program on my phone so that I don't have to think about it at the gym.
• Had.... hmmm.. Mr. Chalet over for supper and we had a very nice and long chat (literally didn't stop talking for the 2 hours we spent together haha).
• Badminton practice (Good practice, I was a bit tired from the food I think. Also had a fucking nice shower afterwards).

Thought of the day:

I feel good.

It's crazy that I'm writing this.

But I feel good.

It's great.

I don't even know how to describe the feeling.

Just last week, when I set my intentions of becoming a business consultant or a life coach, I felt an incredible amount of pressure on my back.

I was restless, it was the feeling that I HAD to do something about it.

I now realize that that feeling was maybe an indication that I wasn't doing things on my own terms.

It's like right now, I'm going at my own pace, I'm in my own lane and I don't give a flying fuck what's going on around me.

I feel at peace, I feel comfortable, I'm slowly becoming who I want to be. Obviously, small increments, but that's perfectly fine, there's no rush.

That doesn't mean I'm doing absolutely "nothing". No, like at work, every time I complete a task, there are things that make me uncomfortable in my work, but because I have to do them, because in the morning I said to myself "I will do this task", because I am someone who wants to be a man of his words, I do the task regardless of if I'm comfortable or uncomfortable doing it.

There's a little voice in the back of my head right now whispering "oh, but shouldn't you always be uncomfortable in order to grow, maybe you're not pushing yourself enough?" I mean maybe it's right. Maybe for other people I'm not pushing myself enough. If I want to become the next Michael Jordan or the next Steve Jobs or the next Spielberg or the next Elon Musk. But I don't want to be like any of them.

I simply want to be me and if this is the pace made for me, that God intended for me right now, then so be it.

I noticed that a lot of times, when I have a feel of "needing to do something", it's because I swerved from my lane. I started peeking over at the person on my right side or on my left side (track analogy) and I thought to myself, shit, am I going too slow compared to them? Am I going too fast? Am I doing things the right way?

Like today for example, Mr. Chalet was talking to me about his recently bought chalet (hence his nickname hahaa, very original, I know) and you know, it seemed like a good investment and fun side-project to have. All of a sudden, my mind started swerving a bit and thinking "shit, should I buy a chalet too? How much would I need? Man, I probably need to have a higher salary to afford the down payment. Should I switch jobs? What jobs should I get? etc. etc. etc."

While I was perfectly happy with what I had a few seconds ago, I decided to peek out of my lane to see what others were doing and suddenly, I had that feeling of "shit, I must do something"; a pressure to act when, in fact, doing nothing about it was (and is) the greatest thing I could do for my life right now.

Alright, 12:41am, time for me to go to bed.

I'm going to leave you with a quote:

"Comparison is the thief of joy" - Theodore Roosevelt.

Little note:

I think it's okay to peek and be curious in what others are doing, but I guess it's about not caring about it or letting it affect the path that is meant for you.