Staying in my lane and focusing on MY life (#060)

I'm happy right now and caring about what is going on in other people's lives will only rob me of my happiness.

Day events:

  • Woke up, meditated for 10 minutes while setting my intentions for the day.
  • Cleaned the kitchen table (that shit was diiiirty).
  • Downloaded the book "Big Magic" and then went on an Amazon book spree to create a list of books I might like to read.
  • Completed my work related task of the day.
  • Wrote out my core program on my phone so that I don't have to think about it at the gym.
  • Had.... hmmm.. Mr. Chalet over for supper and we had a very nice and long chat (literally didn't stop talking for the 2 hours we spent together haha).
  • Badminton practice (Good practice, I was a bit tired from the food I think. Also had a fucking nice shower afterwards).

Thought of the day:

I feel good.

It's crazy that I'm writing this.

But I feel good.

It's great.

I don't even know how to describe the feeling.

Just last week, when I set my intentions of becoming a business consultant or a life coach, I felt an incredible amount of pressure on my back.

I was restless, it was the feeling that I HAD to do something about it.

I now realize that that feeling was maybe an indication that I wasn't doing things on my own terms.

It's like right now, I'm going at my own pace, I'm in my own lane and I don't give a flying fuck what's going on around me.

I feel at peace, I feel comfortable, I'm slowly becoming who I want to be. Obviously, small increments, but that's perfectly fine, there's no rush.

That doesn't mean I'm doing absolutely "nothing". No, like at work, every time I complete a task, there are things that make me uncomfortable in my work, but because I have to do them, because in the morning I said to myself "I will do this task", because I am someone who wants to be a man of his words, I do the task regardless of if I'm comfortable or uncomfortable doing it.

There's a little voice in the back of my head right now whispering "oh, but shouldn't you always be uncomfortable in order to grow, maybe you're not pushing yourself enough?" I mean maybe it's right. Maybe for other people I'm not pushing myself enough. If I want to become the next Michael Jordan or the next Steve Jobs or the next Spielberg or the next Elon Musk. But I don't want to be like any of them.

I simply want to be me and if this is the pace made for me, that God intended for me right now, then so be it.

I noticed that a lot of times, when I have a feel of "needing to do something", it's because I swerved from my lane. I started peeking over at the person on my right side or on my left side (track analogy) and I thought to myself, shit, am I going too slow compared to them? Am I going too fast? Am I doing things the right way?

Like today for example, Mr. Chalet was talking to me about his recently bought chalet (hence his nickname hahaa, very original, I know) and you know, it seemed like a good investment and fun side-project to have. All of a sudden, my mind started swerving a bit and thinking "shit, should I buy a chalet too? How much would I need? Man, I probably need to have a higher salary to afford the down payment. Should I switch jobs? What jobs should I get? etc. etc. etc."

While I was perfectly happy with what I had a few seconds ago, I decided to peek out of my lane to see what others were doing and suddenly, I had that feeling of "shit, I must do something"; a pressure to act when, in fact, doing nothing about it was (and is) the greatest thing I could do for my life right now.

Alright, 12:41am, time for me to go to bed.

I'm going to leave you with a quote:

"Comparison is the thief of joy" - Theodore Roosevelt.

Little note:

I think it's okay to peek and be curious in what others are doing, but I guess it's about not caring about it or letting it affect the path that is meant for you.

Subscribe to nijahusa

Don’t miss out on the latest issues. Sign up now to get access to the library of members-only issues.