- Woke up feeling productive as fuck per work standards (finished 2 big tasks I wanted to do this week).
- Went to go get the keys to our garage spot (finallyyy, no more struggling for parking !).
- Had fun meeting JB at the metro (it was fun, innocent and exciting at the same time haha).
- Good gym session.
- Mixed feelings about the badminton session (I think I played decently, but my mental was not there today. I even broke one of my rackets. I'm so sorry racket, thank you for your services all these years).
The grateful section:
- Grateful that my mom does not have any severe symptoms of covid. Thank you so much God.
- Grateful for the nice and hot weather today.
- Grateful to have people there for me when I'm not at my best.
Thought of the day:
Today, I don't exactly know what happened, but I had a brief moment of rage while playing badminton and accidentally broke one of my rackets.
By accidentally, I mean that part of it was intentional, but I did not mean to break my racket.
I'm usually able to control my force and "pull up" before my racket hits the floor hard enough for it to break, but today, my brain short-circuited and my body did not receive the signal to stop the momentum of my racket, it just crashed on the floor.
After it happened, I started to become more sad / angry / negative not necessarily about the broken racket itself, but more because of my behaviour.
For the rest of the practice, my mind was spinning with negativity and I couldn't really stop it.
I felt ashamed of myself and I kept putting myself down.
My usual positive outlook on life turned temporarily into a negative outlook and everything seemed to not be going well.
The biggest thing I noticed was that I was being so hard on myself.
I know that if someone else did what I did, I wouldn't hesitate to try and be positive, encourage them, give them love.
Somehow, when it comes to ME, it's the complete opposite.
And it truly made me wonder why we do this to ourselves.
I say "we" because I know I'm not the only one who does that.
I feel like the vast majority of people, myself included, are so much harder on ourselves and cannot treat ourselves like we'd treat someone we care for.
And isn't that so stupid when you think about it?
Shouldn't it almost be the other way around?
I'm not saying to treat other people like shit haha just that we should be able to treat ourselves like the most important person in the world to us or similar.
The worst part of it all is that, it doesn't even serve us to treat ourselves badly !
The world would be so much better if everybody treated themselves more kindly.
Yet, our stupid asses decide to make things more complicated for ourselves and constantly treat ourselves harshly.
Why do we even do that? What's the use of it?
Those are questions that I cannot answer... YET. Maybe I'll do a bit of research and write about what I find haha.
Anyway, this was just a reminder to myself and others that we should practice treating ourselves for kindly after all, you are the person you spend the most time with, might as well make it a loving relationship !