When scared, just think of the longterm (#084)

Thought of the day:

I want to start off today's thought by thanking Miss JB for writing her blog post yesterday (I'm also glad she felt like coming back to it, it's awesome).

In her blog post, she was discussing her own thoughts and at some point in her post, she mentioned that she was writing for herself and to reflect on herself.

Somehow, I had forgotten that.

I started this blog, that I've shared to literally only 2 people, because I wanted it to be my personal journaling space where I can talk to myself, reflect on myself, learn about myself, etc.

And that's all I want this to be.

I will most likely create a separate medium in order to write fancy posts about interesting subjects or if I do feel like writing something interesting here, I will do so.

I just don't want to put pressure on myself to make this space interesting.

I want this to be my digital journal.

If I'll write like crap, then so be it.

I'll hone my writing skills somewhere else.

P.S. I'm glad that I've only shared it with those two people. Right now, they're the same people that I would turn to whenever I'd have a problem or would want to discuss about something.

That's that, I'll now write about something I've been wanting to tell myself these past two weeks while I haven't been feeling quite like myself (because I'm sick).


Ever since I've started my new weekly schedule where I gym 3 times a week and play badminton 4 times a week, I've been following it diligently to a T. I've never skipped any training sessions, I've always tried to eat enough, I gave my all every single session and, it's fucking pitiful to say because it's only been a month and a half, but I'm so proud of myself because I feel like it's the first time in forever that I've actually committed to something "hard".

In this brief period of time, I've had my days where I was super super tired, where I didn't want to train or didn't want to push myself or didn't want to write my daily blog post, but even so, I always pushed through and did it anyway.

And the results can show for it. I think my progression badminton wise and body wise are really good for a month and a half and I can't imagine how much it'll improve in 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, etc.

These past 2 weeks though, have been really hard on me. I've still been pushing myself constantly, but it's really hard when just doing normal activities such as eating and sleeping are uncomfortable.

My fear are two-folds. The first one is that I'll somehow "lose" some of my progression if I lower the intensity or take a break temporarily (the time that my body fully recovers) and the second one, the most crucial one, is that I don't want to lose my "mental" edge of always going hard.

As I said earlier, I have not been this good at consistently putting effort in something, anything in a long long time. I'm just afraid that I decide to take it easy now, who says I won't decide to take it easy later too?

However, as I always keep repeating to myself, I should move with love, not fear.

For me, the love that is greater than these two fears are my constant love for badminton, gym and the process itself more than the results.

I know for a fact that I'll continue to gym for the rest of my life. I don't know if it'll be exactly gymming, maybe it'll be taking classes or whatever, but I'll also do some type of strength condition that's for sure.

So what if I don't go hard for 1 or 2 weeks because I want to prioritize my health? What's a mere 2 weeks compared to a lifetime of training? Nothing.

Look at JB, she wasn't able to train properly for a whole month yet her body still looks good, her booty is still the same size (hihi) why? Because she had previously put in the work so that her body will not lose its gains and now that she's back, I know that she'll go right back at it and have bigger, stronger gains in the future.

It's the same thing for badminton, I've been playing this sport for like 10 years or something, I don't know for how many more years I'll continue to play competitively, but a week or two is nothhiiing. I took a goddamn 2-3 years break from this sport and am now better and stronger than I was before.

Yes, the short term results are cool and it'll be sad to lose them temporarily, but I'm in this for the long game. The long long game.

And the long game doesn't care about what happens for a week or two. It cares about what happens over 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, etc.

There's a quote that goes: "People overestimate what they can do in a month and underestimate what they can accomplish in a year."

Now, imagine how much I can accomplish in 10?

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