Why I won't tell my kids they have potential (#100)

Day highlights:

  • Finally able to sleep a lot (9 hours I think hehe).
  • Did some house cleaning (I love a clean house).
  • Went over to Mr. Green's house to learn a fun little dance for the upcoming wedding (dancing is sooo fun, but also kinda hard haha).
  • Had a nice discussion during supper with my mom.
  • Went for a walk afterwards (my throat was dry af).
  • Writing this post on my little chromebook (I forgot how fun it was to own this small and cute computer).

Thought of the day:

I was vacuuming the house this morning and a quick thought crossed my mind.

I'm never going to tell my kids that they have potential and I will try not to tell anyone that they have potential.

I think telling my kids they have potential has a large amount of downside and very little upside.

At the end of the day, potential is simply a term we tell people that puts unwanted expectations on their future self.

I'm not sure if I've talked about this in one of my past blog posts, but I was someone who had a lot of potential growing up and to some extend, I still do.

However, I found that for my younger self, that feeling of wanting to live up to people's expectations of my potential simply made me fear not living up to that potential.

I mean, the best I could really do is live up to that potential. I'd be successful or whatever and people would simply say "oh, he lived up to his potential, we knew it." and that's it.

On the contrary though, even if I live up to 90% of that potential, those same people who instead think something along the lines of "oh, he's pretty successful, but I thought he'd do more."

Again, very little upside, a lot of downside and a lot of room for disappointment.

That's the reason why I won't be telling my kids they have potential.

I do not want to put any type of expectations on them instead, I'll simply tell them that they're doing good in the moment.

Because that's what it really is right?

When you tell people that they have potential, it's because right now, they're doing good and in our heads, we think that if they continue on this growth path, then they'll achieve great things.

So why not give them that boost of self-confidence by talking about what they're doing right now instead of what they might do in the future?

The only thing that I'll have to make sure of is that my kids are constantly challenged just enough for them to grow and if they continue to be good in the present while constantly increasing the challenge, then eventually they will be great and will reach their "potential" without ever having to worry about whether or not they've met other people's expectations.

To summarize, screw potential and simply focus on the present.

Good night.

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