You cannot lie to your subconscious nor your body (#127)

Day highlights:

  • My mom dropped off my passport (thank you).
  • Landed safely in Chicago (thank you God).
  • Ate some good deep dish pizza and some pretty good tacos (the juice was really good though).
  • Had fun at a bar with games (we played cornhole/bags).
  • Met two Chicagoans names Roger & Zack.

Thought of the day:

It's 1am and I'm finally home after a pretty long day.

Luckily, all that's left to do for me is to eat a small meal, pack my luggage for a 5-day trip and brush my teeth.

Very doable in an hour.

I start by cooking myself some instant noodle. I've been craving soup recently and nothing it's the spot like a hot noodle soup on a chilly windy day like today.

I boil some water, put the noodles in and wait until they're al dente. Soft enough to eat, but still a good chew to them.

Once ready, I put the sauce packet in and find some leftover pork tenderloin that I cut into small pieces and add it to the soup.

A few minutes later, the whole thing is done, I pour it in a bowl and bring the bowl to the table.

I'm about to eat, but it's piping hot. There's no way I can eat this immediately without burning my tongue.

In order to utilize my time in the most effective way, I decide to start packing while the soup is cooling off.

I grab my carry-on luggage and start packing. 5 tees, 5 boxers, 3 pants, 1 thick shirt, a set of PJs, a set of active clothing just in case, two hoodies and 6 pairs of socks. I'm done with the packing.

The whole thing took about 7 minutes.

That's the great thing about having a neutral colored minimalist wardrobe. I can pretty much mix and match most of my things. Consequently, I don't need to think too much about packing specific outfits.

By now, my soup is ready to be eaten and I'm enjoying it.

I was pretty hungry and this hits the spot.

While eating, I start feeling pretty proud of how fast I'm able to get ready for short trips. I'm a pretty last minute person and starting to pack less than 12 hours before your flight is usually not recommended, but this doesn't apply to me I tell myself.

I'm a beast of a packer and I get everything done in less than 20 minutes.

I have my clothes, my backpack with my laptop (sadly, I'll have to work a bit on my short vacation) and my toiletries are already in a ziploc ready to go. I'm ready for my trip to Chicago... in the United States.

Fuck.

Fuuuuuuck.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I tell myself.

Panic starts to settle in as I forgot one important item for international flights.

My passport.

It's at my mom's place.

As I haven't travelled internationally since moving, I didn't think about bringing my passport with me.

I calm myself and try to rationalize things.

All is good.

Let me brush my teeth and I'll be able to figure everything out tomorrow morning.

It's almost 2am and driving back and forth to my mom's place add an extra hour.

Can't have me sleeping at 3am and waking up at 8:30.

That's too few hours of sleep.

So I message a few people such as my mom and my friend with whom I'm travelling with to update them on my missing passport situation.

Everyone is sleeping, obviously, but still good to let them know when they wake up.

I then proceed to brush my teeth, write a quick quick blog post and go to sleep.

The past few days have been exhausting and so was today. Falling asleep is no problem.

A few hours pass and I hear my brother waking up to get ready for his tournament.

It's weird I tell myself, I usually never get disturbed by people waking up.

It's about 7am and I try to go back to sleep but I can't.

I feel too hot, my throat is dry, I'm tossing and turning, the noise is too loud and I have slight trouble breathing.

I tell myself that I hope I'm not starting to get sick. It would be bad timing but also not that unusual at this time of the year when the temperature is changing.

By 7:30, my brother is gone and I still can't fall asleep. My alarm is supposed to be at 8am so I stay in my bed, determined to get an extra 30 minutes of sleep.

After 20 minutes of being physically asleep, but mentally awake, I decide to check my phone.

My mom answered. She took out my passport for me.

I was hoping that my friend who lives near my mom's place could maybe pick up my passport before going to pick me up; however, he's still sleeping and I'm not sure if he slept at his house or his girlfriend's apartment (not close to my mom's place).

By now, my options to get my passport were:

  1. My friend picking it up.
  2. Asking my mom to drop it off at my apartment.
  3. Ubering to my mom's and then ubering back to wherever my friend is sleeping at.

Option 1 is risky because I don't know when my friend will wake up and I don't know where he's sleeping.

Option 2 is a bother to my mom.

Option 3 is a waste of money and time.

It's almost 8 by now and I need to know what to do.

I decide to go with option 2 and call my mom to ask if she'd be kind enough to drop it off.

She agrees to it (yess, thank you mom)

I immediately decide to go back to sleep, now having gained an extra 30-45 minutes of sleeping time.

And something magical happens.

The tiredness settles in, I can suddenly breathe properly again, I don't feel hot anymore, I feel light and I feel like I'm about to have the best sleep ever.

And that's what I wanted to point out with this long ass story hahaha.

The reason why my sleep was so shitty was because I was actually actually very nervous about my passport situation.

No matter how much I tried to keep it cool and mentally tell myself that everything was alright, my subconscious knew ! My body knew !

How crazy is it that a mental problem even affected my physical state?

As soon as the problem went away, I instantly felt better. One moment, I almost felt sick and as soon as I hung up, I felt great.

This just goes to show that no matter how hard we try to ignore a situation or tell ourselves that things are okay, our mind, subconscious and even our body knows the truth and as long as we do not truly fix the issue, the problem will persist and show itself through different ways (trouble sleep for myself and sick-like symptoms for me).

Maybe the best thing here was to actually drive to my mom's place at 2am and have that peace of mind. I would have slept so much better.

Sometimes the best way to make something go away is to face it head-on.

What situations or issues are you putting off or trying to ignore?

Good night.

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